May 24, 2012 Flash Friday Fictioner 100-word story from Madison Woods prompt at http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/moths-at-the-drive-through/It's In The Genes
“Here we are!”
“What’ya mean? That sign says MacDonalds!”
“You sure? … I thought it said Monsanto.”
“Wishful thinking doesn’t bring us home.”
“Ok, Mr. braniac, what’s ‘MacDonalds’?”
“It’s like that Mobil station where we stopped last, only this place is for people too lazy to prepare their own meals to line up and get meat, not gas. I knew I shouldn’t trust you. Dark ones just can’t seem to learn to read”
“Are you saying I’m lazy?”
“No, not laziness … just a question of genetics. Aw heck … since we’re here, we might as well go inside and get some horsemeat.”
“What’ya mean? That sign says MacDonalds!”
“You sure? … I thought it said Monsanto.”
“Wishful thinking doesn’t bring us home.”
“Ok, Mr. braniac, what’s ‘MacDonalds’?”
“It’s like that Mobil station where we stopped last, only this place is for people too lazy to prepare their own meals to line up and get meat, not gas. I knew I shouldn’t trust you. Dark ones just can’t seem to learn to read”
“Are you saying I’m lazy?”
“No, not laziness … just a question of genetics. Aw heck … since we’re here, we might as well go inside and get some horsemeat.”
oooh, damning indictments abound especially the comparison between McDonald's and Monsanto - loved the challenge you laid down with it.
ReplyDeleteHere's mine: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/05/25/fairys-through-the-window/
when you live on the edge of reality, it's easy to see similarities between MacDonalds and Monsanto (good thing I ran out of words ... otherwise the horsemeat in the "restaurant" would have also been genetically engineered, and with a Monsanto brand)
DeleteLiked the comparison of McDonalds to a gas station! Not sure, though, why a moth would want to go to Monsanto's... And horsemeat – I wouldn't be surprised, but really no worse than cow meat, killing the earth. My two stories, Invasion and Delusion, are at http://repuestodelatabla.wordpress.com/
ReplyDeleteHome, dear Carlos, home! It's in the genes
DeleteHorse meat! I thought it tasted fishy, but horse meat!
ReplyDeleteHere's mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/
There was something fishy about the butler.
DeleteI think we was a Pisces, probably working for scale.
Lol. There is a bit of a mindless quality to going to McDonald. Not that stops me from eating there...
ReplyDeleteMy attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/chasing-the-divine/
If you only knew, you'd find the nearest Wayback Machine and undo every visit!
DeleteOoh...loved the barbs of genetics, Monsanto and McDonalds all stirred together into a nasty little read. I like it.
ReplyDeleteI see a lot of eddies and rapids in this story, and a big undercurrent. Your poor moths are just pawns to TPTB (The Powers That Be). LOL. And I'm feeling cryptic today!
ReplyDeleteGreat dialogue. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/fridayfictioneers-preying-mantis/
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious. I just can't stop laughing.
ReplyDeleteHere's mine: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/05/25/mothballs/
Thanks ... I had hoped readers would see the dark humor
DeleteCute, clever. I like the dig on the quality of people, and the food. These two characters seem like long term friends a little, I like the dialogue. Here is my share: http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/05/friday-flash-fiction-best-hubby-ever.html
ReplyDeleteThanks, Atiya
DeleteLOL Laziness wins in the end! :) Great tale, Scott. :)
ReplyDeleteHere's mine. http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/05/moths-date-100words-for.html
Siobhan
Hilarious! I love how you give the 2 moths distinct personalities in such a short space. "Not laziness...just a question of genetics." I love it!
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for your comments at my post: http://stonesoupnovelist.com/2012/05/24/a-scene-from-the-novel-the-alchemists-tower/
Oh, and for constructive criticism: "can’t seem to learn to read" doesn't seem to flow right; "seem to" and "learn to" right next to each other kind of clang for me. Maybe something like "have trouble with letters" or "aren't good readers"?
DeleteVery cleverly written and I love the poking fun!
ReplyDeletehttp://lucidgypsy.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/friday-fictioneers-beautiful-and-grey/
Interesting take on this week's prompt. Original. Easy, flowing dialogue. Horsemeat, eh? Wonder if the filler is "pink slime?" Here's mine:
ReplyDeletewww.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
Looks like the smart moth watched 'Super Size Me'. And, HAHAHA, Monsanto! The Daily Show would be pleased.
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/beauty-in-truth/
No, I suspect more has been genetically altered than meets the eye! Speaking of eyes ... I really like the "emerald eyes" in your story. Anyway, thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment
DeleteVery clever, Mr Hays. I have to say that I laughed out loud twice. First, with the Monsanto line, then with the going in anyway and getting some horsemeat.
ReplyDeleteYour comparison to the gas station was also quite telling.
Very good story today - and told in dialogue!
Thanks for your comments on my story also.
Lindaura
For those who haven't stopped by yet, here I am:
http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com
Thanks, Linda! Your opinion is important to me
Delete